I like how there was a little bit of promoting (calling yourself a team player), I think more of that would help even more.
I think you should try to explore some better hooks and add more specifics!
"After my initial years learning under the DHC I started my real job. As a specialist in sleep learning." Combine these two sentences in some way.
I can see you're trying to expand your essay, so work on that a little and provide more details.
Make sure you get APA, quotes, and resources page in there (your book).
Didn't read this book so can't really tell how far you are into reading but I think you're focusing more on one section of the book? If so, try to expand a little more (if it helps your essay).
angus test
ReplyDeleteI like how there was a little bit of promoting (calling yourself a team player), I think more of that would help even more.
ReplyDeleteI think you should try to explore some better hooks and add more specifics!
"After my initial years learning under the DHC I started my real job. As a specialist in sleep learning." Combine these two sentences in some way.
I can see you're trying to expand your essay, so work on that a little and provide more details.
Make sure you get APA, quotes, and resources page in there (your book).
Didn't read this book so can't really tell how far you are into reading but I think you're focusing more on one section of the book? If so, try to expand a little more (if it helps your essay).