Extra Credit Option #1

 Comment on the essay below.  You may help in any way you like, but try to limit your response to 1-2 ideas so that others may also help.  Use the checklists also where possible to help this student's essay to be "A" work:

Extra credit is due by Nov 2:  3 p.m.

Being a black woman in this world is much more difficult to handle than being a white woman. Although white people may have it easier than black people, I believe we can all learn and benefit from each other. One white lady that has motivated me as a person is Mary Dalton. She is a young lady with a lot of ambition to support the black community. Mary comes from a very wealthy family that all lives together and takes care of each other on the south side of Chicago. Her father is a successful realtor who also donates to the black community. Along with her father, Mary’s mother is also an advocate when it comes to helping people of color. I only hope to be able to make a family as picture perfect as the Dalton’s one day and make a difference to others just like they do. 

Mary puts in many different efforts to make people of color feel more normal and accepted. I have even witnessed some of her efforts: for example, Mary and another white man brought my significant other, Bigger, to Ernie’s Kitchen Shack and invited him to sit along with them and eat. Being a man of color, Bigger was nervous about what people would think seeing him eat with such prestigious white people but Mary was supportive and encouraging. Bigger was chauffeuring Mary and the white man as a job but she made it known that everything was going to be okay and it did not matter if he was just working for her or not. Mary was overjoyed when Bigger finally agreed to eat a meal with them. Accepting Bigger as any other person has really shown the type of person Mary Dalton is. She is a caring and down to earth person and I strive to show the same integrity and grace as her. 

Mary Dalton wishes to be very interactive with the cause that she supports. She even says “No, I want to work among the Negroes. That’s where people are needed. It seems as though they’ve been pushed out of everything.” (Wright, 1940, p. 87). Wanting to work hands on with the black community shows her dedication and drive to make a change. Working hands on also shows that Mary is serious about the cause and that it is important to her. Mary’s actions will push me to be involved in good causes in the future and help me build up on my leadership skills. Mary also shows a true interest in the cultural background of the black community. I recall her saying “And their songs-the spirituals! Aren’t they marvelous?” (Wright, 1940, p. 88). I believe it is important to be curious about whatever cause you are supporting  because educating yourself better on the issue can increase your effectiveness as an advocate for the black community. 

I am very grateful to be able to witness all of the good Mary Dalton has done for people like me. Her efforts may even help me have a smoother future. Watching Mary take action in such important causes has encouraged me to work hard to be a better person. I spend a lot of time working at my job in hopes of saving up my money. Working a job has also taught me many different things. Working has taught me patience and the importance of time management. Being at my job has also taught me how to build my work ethic to be an important part in my working environment. It has helped me develop more leadership skills and communication skills. Without the motivation that Mary Dalton has given me, I may not have been able to succeed in my work life or could have been a poor worker. Overall, I am extremely grateful for everything Mary Dalton has done and will continue to be motivated by her and use her personal experiences to help me learn and better my future self.